Book Contract

Over a year ago, I began directing my creative energy toward one goal: becoming a published author. It has already been a difficult journey, but not one without reward. A month ago I signed my first book contract. A scary and possibly dangerous goal to pursue is now within reach.

It is a scary goal for obvious reasons. Doubt and fear run rampant any time you have the gall to make a bet on yourself. Doubt roars when you try to create something from the most honest place inside that you can find. Fear can paralyze when you remove the safety net of creating something under some other organization’s name, and instead place your name for the world to see. Doing this doesn’t make you more heroic or better than anyone else. But for me, it has been an attempt to take responsibility for my actions and dreams.

It is a dangerous goal because it involves my own hubris. Who am I to think I have anything to say that others should pay money to read? Where do I get the nerve to bet on myself when others have more talent and better ideas? What makes me think I have any authority to speak about who God is and what He does? The narcissistic danger is palpable, isn’t it? Even still, I reached a point of critical mass over a year ago. I would either pursue what actually excited me, or let the dream die. Either way, I had to take ownership and stop blaming others.

It’s easy to blame others and circumstances for your unfulfilled goals. Someone else always gets the final say, there aren’t enough hours in the week, and there is always something worth watching on television. I have no lectures to give, or practical advice to dispense. I am not the model citizen of ambition or productivity. Even though I can testify to the hard work it takes, I know I have the luxury to pursue this dream of mine. I have been given more aid than most. I have been given good circumstances not everyone enjoys. I understand that. But being fortunate doesn’t overshadow the emotional miles it takes to pursue a dream.

As I signed that publishing contract, any entitlement I had melted into gratitude. Humility never comes easy, but I felt it in every pen stroke of my signature. I felt like a fraud until I was flooded with encouragement from honest friends and mentors. Wipf & Stock Publishers claims to publish books on content merit and not on the author’s marketability. Dear God, I hope I can live up to such claim.

Stay tuned for updates about the forthcoming book.