Write, Your, Life

Somehow, this first month of the year, I have finished reading five books. I am not sure how. They must be very short books. As I try to be productive during a rare “writing day,” these books are calling back to me. Some of them are about the importance of telling a good story with my life, how to be a professional writer and the importance of understanding that I’m not for everyone and that’s okay–these ideas can be shrewd with a thirsty soul like mine.

There’s a way to think deeply about the life you want to lead without guilt or shame belittling you. You can take those first steps toward a dangerous dream without “reality” or resistance choking you out the next day. You can sleep at night even if you didn’t have a “movie worthy” day. I hope you can.

We can take the daunting first step toward our dreams and goals without bemoaning or bullying ourselves about our “wasted” life. And we don’t have to radically reorient our life just because we read the latest book demanding we hit the trail head of a new adventure. This only leads to more guilt and another short-lived false start at completing something we hope will validate our existence. It won’t.

We can move toward dreams (writing that book, creating that art, running that marathon, getting that job) when we: name what we want, confess why we want it, make small but intentional steps to do the work required, and have the courage to do it all again tomorrow. None of these “steps” have a thing to do with other people and their approval. They also don’t like to share space with guilt. They ask us to leave behind the useless and enslaving comparisons we employ to torture ourselves. They demand a belief that doing the necessary work is where transformation actually happens, not the obtaining of the dream. It’s not the bold claims we make; it’s the unseen work that builds steam and gathers momentum.

But I believe these steps toward our goals and dreams happen more consistently when we recognize the beauty in the life we already have. It’s hard for a spouse to get excited about your new found determination when you keep using the word “waste” to describe life. You might truly need to make some significant changes to chase your dreams, but don’t harm your spouse and children (and yourself) by calling the life you share with them a “wasted existence.” The dreams calling you to be brave happen in the context of the life you have already. Make the changes, take the risks, but don’t diminish the journey you have already taken or the people who have traveled with you. Carry them along by honoring them for loving you, even when all this time you chose not to chase what you felt made for. This is just as bold as the dream itself. Any fulfillment you find in pursuing something should be seen as adding to the beauty that already populates the life you have, not replacing it.

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